Bella Vida Therapy

Molly Papp, MS, MPH, CSAT, LMFT #88196

Bella Vida Therapy

Molly Papp, LMFT

You deserve a beautiful life

Sex, intimacy, and relationship therapy

Honeymoon: The Three H's...

First of all, sorry it's been almost 2 months since my last post. I promise to be much better this fall. I was so busy planning my wedding that I just didn't have time to write about relationships. But let me tell ya, planning a wedding is a huge stressor to a couple. You end up fighting about whether or not you should spend $600 on chair covers and how you should seat all 150 guests without causing family drama. It's a lot of work, but in the end it's completely worth it because you get to be with your best friend. And let's face it; weddings are a blast. Especially when it's your own. You get to be the star of the show for 6 hours. Anyhoo, now that that's done, it's time to talk about honeymoons. They are often the first time in your relationship as a married couple that you get to be completely alone with each other with no distractions, maybe no phone or TV, no friends or family, no work, etc., for an extended period of time. It's fun and sexy but also sort of an informal test. You get to see how you handle all that time alone with just each other. You may drive each other bonkers, or you may get to know each other in a way you never have before. Let's face it, most of the time when you see your spouse at the end of a long day you often just talk about what you did when you were apart. How your day was, how annoying that guy at work is, where you ate lunch, did you call the landlord, and all the other important but kind of boring banalities of everyday life. On your honeymoon, after talking about the wedding for the first few days, you run out of normal things to talk about. You end up going deeper, talking about things you've never discussed before. It's refreshing and different. We spent one night laughing about our favorite SNL comedians. It was completely unplanned and unexpected. And great. We were just friends hanging out as a married couple. That's what honeymoons should be about. Besides all the kissing and holding hands. (And other intimate things, of course) That being said, it's also pretty stressful being with someone 24-7 for a long period of time. You need to remember the three H's of honeymooning: Have fun (Duh, that's the point of a honeymoon; it's a reward for the horror that is wedding planning), Have lots of intimate time (No work, stress, kids, family, job, etc to interrupt you), and Have some alone time (As in, one day go get a coffee by yourself or go for a walk before she gets up. Trust me, when you get back you'll actually miss her as opposed to feeling like everything she does is annoying) Above all, take lots of pictures and laugh and eat and just enjoy being married. You'll always have another vacation, but you'll only have one honeymoon. Make it count, but don't get upset if things don't go perfect. Things will go wrong, but you'll have your partner to support you while on your honeymoon and for the rest of your life.