Bella Vida Therapy

Molly Papp, MS, MPH, CSAT, LMFT #88196

Bella Vida Therapy

Molly Papp, LMFT

You deserve a beautiful life

Sex, intimacy, and relationship therapy

Texting, Calling, Facebooking...Don't Ask Don't Tell

I like to know about my husband's day; what he did, how he's feeling. There's a simple pleasure in coming home from work, hanging out on the couch together and sharing a meal while we laugh about something out friends did or bitch about our customers. But what I don't share is the play-by-play of my life, and I don't want to hear every little detail of his. If I get a text or phone call when we're together I might mention who it is, or I might not. Your significant other doesn't need to know EVERYTHING that you say or do. It doesn't matter! It's important to be your own person, separate from your relationship. I like to keep phones off the table during dinner. It keeps us connected when there's nothing but the two of us sitting together with no TV, no Facebook, no annoying ringing. The only exception I have is when  you get a feeling, deep in your gut, that something is off. Call it women's intuition or just noticing details, but if you feel like your girl or man is up to no good and is acting kinda "funny;" you're probably right. They might be getting a little too friendly with that hot guy with the tattos from the gym. Otherwise, let go of the feeling that you must know everything your love is doing. If you get insecure, remember that you're 1. Awesome, 2. Worthy of love, 3. With your partner for a reason: they like you! Otherwise they wouldn't be with you, nor would you be with them. So trust that they will honor and respect you when you aren't together and you'll do the same. And stay off their Facebook page- trust me it'll only lead to bad things. You don't need to know who that girl from the office is and why she thinks your boyfriend is "totally cute in that pic!" If you trust him, nothing else matters. If you don't, then maybe you should rethink what it is that is making you feel that way.