Bella Vida Therapy

Molly Papp, MS, MPH, CSAT, LMFT #88196

Bella Vida Therapy

Molly Papp, LMFT

You deserve a beautiful life

Sex, intimacy, and relationship therapy

A Soldier Gave Me Good Advice Today...

I could never be in the military. Don't get me wrong- I think it's amazing that people from all walks of life are able to devote their lives to serving our country. I'm just too weak and scared to ever try. So instead I say THANK YOU to all those out there who do. Today I was at work when I met a woman and man dressed in military fatigues. We began to talk and when I mentioned I was in school to become a marriage and family counselor, she gave me some great advice. The kind military lady told me about how you need to discuss certain things with your mate. She also told me that if you rub a guy's feet while you're dating, he'll expect it forever, so be careful spoiling your mate too much!  Her words mimicked the advice I just learned in school, which is that it's SO important to talk about practical stuff before you get serious/move in/get married. Things such as: what chores each of you will do, how you'll raise the kids, what's your basic view of life, how you spend money, what's your religion and would you convert if you had kids or got married, whose family you'll spend the holidays with, where you want to live, etc. It's not sexy, or fun sometimes, but it's essential. You don't want to suddenly wake up and realize that you desperately want to move to Europe for a year while your boyfriend wants to buy a house and get married within 6 months. Take it from me (I've been there)- being honest now will save you a lot of heartbreak later. Plus, all these questions really help you ultimately become closer to your partner. You know their favorite beer, but do you know where they want to be in their career in 5 years? Ask the questions (not too early on in the relationship though- that can freak someone out) when you're in a serious relationship- you both deserve to know the answers.