Bella Vida Therapy

Molly Papp, MS, MPH, CSAT, LMFT #88196

Bella Vida Therapy

Molly Papp, LMFT

You deserve a beautiful life

Sex, intimacy, and relationship therapy

Best. Quote. Ever.

Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him. I don't know who said this, but it's brilliant. Recently, I've been feeling stress in my life and with my upcoming wedding. It's been a busy summer! But at the end of the day, lying with the one person in the whole world who knows me, loves me, and accepts me, I feel grateful. I think that when you are in a relationship, you have to think about more than just "Is the sex good?" or "Do we have fun together?" Those are very important things, for sure. But also ask yourself questions like the quote above. Here are my favorite questions you should ask when you're in a relationship:

1. Does he or she want you around, at least half of the time? Have you met their friends/family?
2. Do you feel/act your best around them, or at least act like YOU, not a fake version of you?
3. Do you miss them when they aren't around?
4. Can you talk with them about the good stuff, the bad stuff, and everything in between- and will they listen? (And can you be okay with silence as well?)
5. Would you want your friend to date someone like them?

One more thing: you and your partner are the only two people in the relationship- no one else. Don't let anyone try to tell you what you should or shouldn't have or want or act like. It's up to you. Enjoy that power and own it. I'm not encouraging your to stay in an abusive or unfulfilling relationship, but realize that you can't let other people try to tell you about something they are judging from the outside. It's like looking at a cake and trying to guess the ingredients. No one knows what's in it but the baker. My relationship, like every other one, has a secret ingredient that makes it good. For my cakes, it's mayonnaise. (try it, seriously it makes cakes super moist) For my love, it's really just acceptance. Acceptance of his flaws, of mine, and letting each other be real. You can't love someone for who you want them to be- that' not fair. Love them for who they are, or not at all.