Bella Vida Therapy

Molly Papp, MS, MPH, CSAT, LMFT #88196

Bella Vida Therapy

Molly Papp, LMFT

You deserve a beautiful life

Sex, intimacy, and relationship therapy

You Can Look, But You Can't Touch...

Let's face it- as humans, we are drawn to attractive people. We enjoy admiring good-looking men and women; it's only natural to enjoy  looking at beautiful people or people who are charming, funny, or otherwise eye-catching in some indescribable way. But when you're committed to one person, you can't act on those desires. I don't want to imply you can't have those impulses- you can definitely still feel turned-on by others, who isn't? You're in a relationship, not dead. I liken it to being at a decadent, new restaurant: You can browse the tempting menu, but you can't order anything off it. You have your favorite meal waiting at home, don't ever forget that. That being said, it's important to remember your partner's feelings when you see someone you find hot. My advice? Bite. Your. Tongue. No one wants their wife to talk about how she's like to hump Brad Pitt. Sure, it will never happen, but it still is another person she's saying she'd like to get naked with. Who wants to hear that? Think it, don't say it. It's just a matter of respect. Give your partner the same respect you'd like to receive back. I don't care who you are, everyone wants to feel like their mate wants them and only them, sexually and just in general. Even though it's not true 100% of the time (like when the 19 year-old blonde at work bends over to pick up a pen or the hot guy from the gym is doing sweaty bicep curls in the mirror), for the other 99% of the time, you obviously want to be with your partner or else you wouldn't be together. Like the great Paul Newman once said, "I have steak at home. Why should I go out for a hamburger?"