Bella Vida Therapy

Molly Papp, MS, MPH, CSAT, LMFT #88196

Bella Vida Therapy

Molly Papp, LMFT

You deserve a beautiful life

Sex, intimacy, and relationship therapy

Dating Sucks...Or Does It?

I have a girlfriend who just got out of a long-term relationship. She is gorgeous, skinny, funny and kind. He just wasn't ready to settle down quite yet (blame it on the early 20s, everyone's gotta sow their wild oats). Anyway, so now she is single and dating and HATES it. Because she is still in love with her ex, I'm sure, but also because a lot of people are jerks or flakey or just blah. You all know what I mean, whether you're single and looking for love or just sex or you're coupled up, we have all been there. The guy who wants to split the check on the first date, the girl who spends 2 hrs talking about herself (oh really, your friend Amber just got bangs- that is so funny and interesting! Not! And another thing; I don't give a fuck about the goddamn Kardashians!), or maybe the guy or gal whom you have amazing sex with but don't even know their last name. Whoops! Truth is, we've all been there. We all have great hook-ups and bad ones (one kisser I remember was referred to as the lizard- not a good thing), but ultimately that's the name of the game. Dating is a game, like it or not. It's the game of "I want this" and "You want that" and lets not tell each other what we want and just figure it out. Naked. I hope my friend does at least find a cool STD-free guy to date while she's licking her wounds from the last boy who broke her heart. If anything, it's a fun distraction. Because you can't plan love, can't always recover from it, and can't hand-pick your "soulmate" (I hate that term, it's so anxiety-provoking; as if we don't have enough to worry about in life, now we must find the only person in the universe who will love us forever despite our penchant for wearing yellow skinny jeans, period-underwear for 30 days straight, and "forgetting" to shave for 3 months in winter). I digress, but the point is, love and sex and dating are 3 very different things- sometimes they crash into each other and sometimes they blend seamlessly. Planning love? Good luck girls and boys- it just happens.