Maybe you should! No I’m not talking
growing a beer belly and 5 o’clock shadow, but choosing someone who fits into
your life may be the secret to a lasting relationship.
phenomenon I’ve noticed lately in which the happy couples I know look like they
just ‘fit’ together. Examples include:
boho chick and tatted up guy with skinny jeans
guy in Cowboys jersey and girl in her college hoodie and mom jeans
in-shape brunette and tall muscular dude with a tribal tattoo
soccer mom with too much Botox and her wealthy balding husband
rich guy in a button-up and blonde bombshell in killer heels
of people looking like their dogs but what if we approached dating like getting
a pet? You need someone who fits into your lifestyle and likes the same things.
Same as a dog. If you live in a 400 square foot apartment in Manhattan, you
aren’t going to get a Great Dane. Or if you love going on hikes it’s doubtful
you’ll buy a Maltese. You choose a pet based on your lifestyle- why not a mate?
applies to a first date. Besides being attracted to someone, you have to share
some common interests in order to keep the relationship going. So next time
you’re getting to know that cute Match.com guy over coffee, stray away from the
typical first date “where’d you go to college” chatter and ask what you really
need to know, depending on what you like to do. I say this because
realistically, if you marry a guy who loves hockey more than life, you’re going
to spend a good portion of your life in a rink eating jumbo pretzels and
drinking foamy beer.
Here are a
few key questions to ask and what style to spot:
athletic, healthy chick:
you workout? (if so, what specific gym)
you eat healthy usually? (so you can make gluten-free paleo dinners together)
for muscle-tees, warm-ups, fancy running shoes
luxurious, girlie girl:
you like fine dining? (if he doesn’t know what this means then you’re doomed to
vacations are you planning this year? (for your first kiss at the Eiffel Tower)
for a tailored suit, well-groomed hair, cuff-links
sporty, laid back lady:
your favorite sport to watch? (and favorite team)
sports did you play as a kid? (so you can join a league together)
for jeans, football jersey, ball-cap
driven, goal-oriented woman:
do you see yourself in 5 years? (to tell if he’s serious or not)
you own or rent? (also to gage if he’s motivated for success and stability)
for an unwrinkled button-up, nice watch, name-brand sunglasses
For the indie,
music lover girl:
shows have you seen recently?
many tattoos do you have?
for skinny pants, flannel, hair that’s shaved on sides and long on top
ingredient in this pie is that all the couples that I’ve worked with that look
and act similar have a lot of things in common. That’s why they dress and act
alike. It just makes sense. If you love TV more than you talk to your family, you
probably are not compatible with a guy who doesn’t even have Netflix and spends
his free-time babysitting his niece. You would be bored to tears if, instead of
binge-watching The Walking Dead, your Saturday nights were spent at his sister’s
house changing diapers.
work when people spend a significant amount of quality time together, usually
doing something they both enjoy. Since you can’t have sex 24/7, you need other
activities that are fun for you and him. Similar hobbies also means similar
lifestyles, goals, values….You get the picture. Don’t get me wrong, it’s
healthy to have a life outside your relationship. If your man doesn’t want to
watch a romantic comedy with a gallon of frozen yogurt, that’s okay. That is
what girlfriends are for. But in general, you both should like the same stuff.
So the next
time you’re about to go out with the cute bartender who asked you out after
your third Chardonnay, remember to look and listen for the key things that you
like and need in a partner. You may not end up with your twin, but perhaps you
will find a guy who happens to love going out every night with friends or is
excited to go for a run and then go shopping for new workout gear. If you’re a
Zen goddess who loves kale and yoga and he is a Republican with a gun
collection and a farmer’s tan it probably won’t work out.
the car that suits us, the dog we are meant for, and the clothes we love- why
not choose the type of man who fits into our lives just as well?