Bella Vida Therapy

Molly Papp, MS, MPH, CSAT, LMFT #88196

Bella Vida Therapy

Molly Papp, LMFT

You deserve a beautiful life

Sex, intimacy, and relationship therapy

Timing and Soulmates

Timing is everything dear readers. Where and when you meet people has a huge impact on whether or not you'll date them or not. For example, many men aren't ready to commit until they're more established, which happens roughly around the ages of 28-38ish. (but all men are different, so this varies a lot) So a man who meets an incredible, beautiful woman and falls in love with her might not be ready to settle down yet. Either he hasn't finished sowing his wild oats, or he doesn't feel ready (financially and emotionally) to have a wife and kids. It's like that old Sex and the City episode where the girls compare men to cabs. If their light isn't on, they aren't ready to pick up their Mrs.Right. That doesn't mean they won't drive around picking up girls, it just means none of them will make it all the way home until that man is ready. But love is a crazy thing and it makes us do things that aren't really rational. So men and women will settle down for reasons that don't make sense. They don't want to lose that person so they reluctantly get married to keep them. Or they 'accidentily' get pregnant. Or they date for 6 months, have great sex, then pop the question before they've had their first fight. Women nowadays are getting married later too, and it's less of a major life goal. But we still want it all. We want the white dress and the awesome job we rock at. Oh, and the 2 cute kids that are the only children we can stand to be around because other people's kids are annoying. Whether you meet your 'soul mate' (a term I don't like because it implies there' s only one person in the WHOLE WORLD of over 6 billion people that you're meant to be with) at 26, 36, or 56 can change the course of your whole life. The person you marry you might not have met if you hadn't took that job or gone to that college. And you might not be with them forever. It's all about timing and luck of the draw as to whether you meet your 'soulmate' today or ten years from now. Although, I'm pretty sure there's more than one person in the world who will share your love of 30 Rock and mint chocolate chip ice cream. I think we have lots of soulmates, or rather people we can love who will love us back. What life stage each person is at also has a huge impact on whether or not their relationship will survive. What I do know is that life is full of wonderful people. I wish you all a lifetime full of them, and hopefully at least one 'soulmate.'