What's Your Type?
Take a moment to think about your romantic history. Have you had a type? And if so, think about if it's been working for you. Are you currently in a happy relationship that is not filled with jealousy, constant fighting, or controlling behavior? If not, ask yourself why not? Do you not deserve to be treated well and loved? How did your parents treat you and did you like it? For women, our father is the first male we ever have a close relationship with, and the opposite is true for men and their mothers. You might have heard the quote, "Look at how a man treats his mom. That's how he'll treat you one day." It is a bit exaggerated and a stereotype, but it is very telling. How is your boyfriend's relationship with his mother? If he thinks she's a hot mess and a nag, most likely he'll think all women are nags and will have trouble taking direction from a woman. (in other words, good luck getting him to remember to put his clothes in the hamper.....ever) Same goes for women. If she is really close with her father, admires him, and is a total daddy's girl, chances are she will seek men who pamper her and put her on a pedestal. (these are the girls who wear makeup to bed and tell their fiancées their engagement rings are too small...yikes!)
What does this all mean? I don't mean to ramble, but I just want you to think about your dating history so that you can stop repeating the past. As Einstein once said, 'insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.' (I'm paraphrasing) If you want to be in love and find happiness, but all your past relationships have failed, look at the type of men or women you're attracting going after and how they are like (or different than) your parents. Look past the physical. Beauty fades and money disappears, but class, self-respect, and kindness are forever. Maybe you'll create a new pattern for yourself if you are more aware of what YOU want, what makes you happy, and what hasn't worked for you in the past. That way, you can start a future in which you choose relationships that are fresh and healthy, not continuing unsuccessful old patterns.